Sunday, August 16, 2015

That New 21 Pilots Song

You're driving to work, minding your own business, then BAM! Car wreck! Your eyes are glued to that fiery carnage as you watch twisted limbs crawl their way out. That's exactly what happens when this stupid song starts playing on the radio. It's a car wreck for your ears. I'd rather get a literal tear in my heart than get audio raped by this song one more time. This song SUCKS. If you like this song even a little then you are wrong.

Sunday, August 2, 2015


Blogs SUCK. They're so boring. What kind of person even reads blogs, anyway? I imagine most blogs remain unread or have their content glazed over by the eyes of either fat friendless freaks frittering away a forgetful Friday night or by housewives with too much time (yet not enough beauty to have an affair). These collective group of losers seem to have forgotten that the Internet is a vast ocean of opportunities to see or do almost anything. I don't want to waste my time reading about the "adventures" of some guy's cat, or about some new turkey recipe Grandma invented, or about the latest lemon and/or alpaca you found in some Chinese cartoon. The only thing you idiots should be using the Internet for is cool things, such as playing video games (preferably video games with explosions in them) and watching movies (preferably movies with explosions in them). Blogs are boring. Tell your Grandma to delete her blog and go die already. If that saves one more person from seeing a picture of her stupid cat then it'd be worth it. Blogs SUCK and if you like them then you are wrong.